DEPENDING on your point of view, we’re facing either the end of the world, or the end of the year sometime in the next two weeks. For the record, I’m going with the latter, but in any case, I thought it might be timely to provide a little festy…I mean festive, update on my dating success.
At this point I should warn you, you could stop reading now and be just as wise as those who make it to the end. Or, if you’re really bored and trying to kill those last few days at work before Christmas, please read on.
In recent weeks, and in no particular order, there’s been a host of potential new suitors, via my dating site. Let me introduce you to some of the men who’ve been contacting me. I don’t want to brag, but they’ve been practically lining up to meet me (or, in the case of the photo below which I took in Laos some years back, are much more enlightened souls than those on my dating site).
My most recent admirer has been a bloke who calls himself Rough Diamond (obviously, he doesn’t work in PR). Rough, 42, doesn’t believe in apostrophes, but does like fishing, camping and 4×4’s. He apparently cooks “a mean muffin”, has a dog called “Bundy” and listens to Guns and Roses. The real treat was Rough’s answer to the kinds of sport he liked: “If you can class drinking as a sport, I guess I play that.”
The next fella calls himself Caloundra Bloke. Caloundra reckons we have “a lot in common” but exactly what that is remains a mystery to me, for despite asking him to actually fill out some of his profile or perhaps email me with a few highlights, he refuses. I can’t help but wonder whether Calounda’s wife knows he’s on a dating site.
Andy P, also from the Sunshine Coast (ladies, there appears to be a pandemic of single men on the Sunny at the moment), actually engaged in a one-hour internet chat with me, in which he revealed he had retired at 37 and owned a yacht called Chardonnay. Andy asked me how I’d feel about a sunset sail, some seafood and some good conversation, to which I replied: “That sounds great!”. At that point, I never heard from Andy again. Now, I’m either doing something wrong, or Andy’s yacht is actually a tinnie.
Finally, there’s Tantric, who, as his name suggests is Indian. The problem with Tantric is that he also lives in India and has asked me to come and visit him which is a little outside the 50km radius I’ve stipulated on my profile. Apparently his name means “Shiva” in Sanskrit and he is looking for his “Shakthi”. I’m not entirely sure what a Shakthi is, and despite doing a bit of yoga and meditation lately, I don’t think I’m the girl for Tantric.
Which leaves me with the same old question, what to do about dating? According to a recent report in the Fraser Coast Chronicle, you now download a Virtual Boyfriend App, tailor him to meet your needs, and dump him when he doesn’t make the grade. You can even download a Wingman App, when you’re lost for the perfect pick-up line which also comes with a pep talk for when you’re feeling a bit blue in the dating department.
I guess it’s all food for thought this silly season as we entertain the prospect of exactly who, if anyone, we’ll be kissing under the mistletoe. As for me, and knowing my luck, I will finally find a boyfriend…just as the world ends.
The Global Goddess 
Hey Miss Chris…look at it this way…if the planet does erupt with cataclysmic finallity…you might actually end up going out with a bang-one way or another!
Was that short enough?
Happy Christmas.
The Moving Mountain. (-:
Lovely and succinct Mr Mountain. Ain’t no mountain high enough?
Great article and it made me laugh (again), as I have been where you are. In fact, if I am truthful, still am. There are still a lot of good men out there. Dating sites can be one way to find “the one”. Having been there, done that, I can say that there are a great number of good men and women who use these sites. I have meet some excellent friends that way and was in a 3 year relationship with a man who I meet on RSVP.com. You do need to sift through the chaff to find that needle in the haystack, but hey, is that any different to any other form of selection?
My favourites on the dating sites are the “love me, love my dog” type of person that has pictures of their mangy mutts as part of their profile picture. Usually it is giving them a big sloppy kiss on the lips. Please!!! You want me to kiss you after that? No thank you very much.
Keep up the search, just don’t restrict yourself to one place. My best tip is to talk to your friends, because friends of friends are the obvious best chances of getting a suitable match. Your friends know you and also know their friends so there is already common ground. Hopefully that is. Nothing is certain when it comes to relationship.
Have a very Merry Christmas and thanks for sharing.
Thanks Rhonda. Merry Christmas to you too. The search isn’t over yet!
Words of advice. Extend your search range 150 kilometres to include south of the border. Byron’s nice for a weekend pick-me-up.
and please don’t avoid Yamba, MC..plenty of handsome trawlers skippers looking for crews…you’ve got to lift your expectations Miss Chris (-: By the way. Knights in shining armour don’t exist. I’m a hard act to follow. But you might find a tarnished one somewhere.
Signed-The Mountain that Moves-an epiphet from the Lao Mahout that I’m rather proud of.
Reblogged this on RD Revilo.
Ha Ha Ha! I feel your pain. xx
You are a great writer, Chris. Your post made me laugh but wince I did. To be frank, I just don’t see a soul mate among this lot although the chap who nominated drinking as his favourite sport certainly reflects an adventurous spirit. Mind, his idea of a dirty weekend could simply involve roo shooting. BTW the toe I had painted black when we were in Vietnam has almost healed. This is something only your roo shooter could appreciate.